Amelia Laurenson Dallenbach, MFT

Amelia Laurenson Dallenbach, MFT

"The Greek Goddess Is You"
by Amelia Laurenson Dallenbach, MFT

Several years ago, a good friend of mine who is a single mom, watched her daughter struggle with depression. The girl cycled down and down, sometimes almost to the point of being suicidal. The mother saw to it that the daughter had excellent medical and psychiatric care, but for a while, nothing seemed to recall her daughter from the depths. Like Persephone who was kidnapped by Hades, her daughter had disappeared into Hell. Then the mother began to grow thin. She told me that she was so worried about her daughter than she just couldn't eat. This mother had responded just like Demeter in the ancient myth of Demeter and Persephone.

What do the major Greek Goddesses have to do with the life of women today in the 2lst Century? Plenty! Those Greeks were excellent psychologists long before Freud. They deciphered thought patterns that live in our psyches, saw how these patterns were related and christened them with the name of a major god or goddess. The goddesses were something every woman could relate to because a part of them LIVED in every woman.

And today it is no different. Though we may have traded togas for jeans, our propensity for following certain psychological probabilities still exists. That's why it is so exciting for a woman to discover which major Greek goddesses are alive and well in her own psyche and to begin to relate to them in a brand new way. If we know the organizing thought patterns of a particular goddess we don't have to be overtaken by her archetypal energies, but can call on her strengths to empower us and her wisdom to guide us.

In the GODDESS SEMINAR that I give, each woman discovers who are her major goddesses at the present time and how they relate to her life. And I say "at the present time," because the dominant goddesses do change throughout a woman's life as she transitions from one life phase to another. A woman who has been an Athena type and very career oriented for nearly twenty years, may, as the biological clock starts ticking in her late 30's, decide she wants to have a child. Now Demeter becomes her major goddess and a whole new set of parameters begin to define her life. Her concerns shift from what is important to Athena (the World, Culture, career, competition and intellectual life ) to what matters most to Demeter (childbearing, generation, and nurturance).

In today's world of the 21st Century, more than likely a woman will be balancing the demands of several goddesses all at once. She will be busy being Athena during the day working at her career, and Demeter at home, evenings and weekends, as she tends and watches over her family. She operates within the framework of several goddesses and needs to be very aware of which "goddess hat" she is wearing at any one moment, for there will be other major goddesses in the picture, too: Hera, if her home and marriage are important to her; perhaps Artemis, if she likes to go hiking in the woods or run marathons; and, hopefully, she finds time for Aphrodite, to keep romance and beauty alive in her life.

Knowing what each goddess represents and what that goddess demands empowers us to find time for all the different aspects of ourselves. For, if an archetypal energy pattern is alive in us, it is going to be pulling on us in many, many ways. Understanding these patterns will help us to realize why we feel as we do, and to orchestrate, or be in charge of, how we relate to those demands.

For instance, when I went back to graduate school after having been an actress for 35 years, I was faced with enormous demands from Athena. Aphrodite is a big goddess in my psyche and I knew that I could no longer spend the kind of time on the phone nor in relationship that I had, and still have sufficient time for studying. So, I threw Aphrodite a bone to calm her down. I, who had never in my life, until then, had a pedicure, went to the salon every month and had my toe nails painted red. And all the while I was there I focused on the beauty, the luxury and relaxing sensations that Aphrodite loves so much. And once a month I got a massage. The rest of the time, I asked Aphrodite to support Athena in her intellectual endeavors. And it worked. The Aphrodite in me who so craved relationship and long talks on the phone with friends, was fed in another way, a way she also values: beauty and sensual luxury. But knowing the qualities and demands of each goddess enabled me to arrange this trade off. I was in charge and they were my assistants.

In my Seminars, we spend time getting to know each of the major Greek goddesses, their myths, their attitudes, and the arenas in which they are most active. Each goddess will have a different take on how to approach the same problem, and sometimes it is wise to consider several goddess energies before determining our own approach to solving a problem. In league with the pantheon of goddesses, our options are expanded.

We also explore our own family relationships from the standpoint of the goddesses. For instance, if a woman is a Father's Daughter, you can bet that Athena has a major influence upon her life.

Women who have taken my seminar in the past have told me that understanding the the Greek goddesses has allowed them to make quicker, clearer decisions in their lives. When in a quandary about what to do, they will realize that two or three different goddesses are pulling at them, each vying for what that particular goddess energy values as important.

Recognizing all these different psychological probabilities within herself, the 21st Century woman can make a choice based on the Whole of her life and not be overpowered by one archetypal energy. Knowledge is freedom.

Embracing the past expands our futures!.

Amelia Laurenson Dallenbach, MFT, is a local therapist and leads Seminars with Barbara Palomarez, MFT, on THE POWER OF THE GREEK GODDESSES at their office, PATHWAYS TO WHOLENESS, in Montecito Upper Village. Amelia may be reached at (805) 895-1498 or soulpsychology@gmail.com

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